the juicy years

Alone versus Lonely has come to my attention lately w hen I read that more women are living alone today than at any other time in herstory.  Given that therapists in the USA are a little concerned about the emotional health of these millions of women, it piqued my interest.  On googling this topic it seems there are many variables when it comes to how people feel about living alone.  As I'm a passionate informal researcher (post Social Ecology academia) of our 3rd chapter, I will continue to gather stories, and the next 20 years will no doubt attract much interest from other social researchers. To give you a glimpse of the growing singledom status, let's look at the USA for example.  1/4 of adult American women have never married Divorce has tripled since the 1950's Nearly 12 million women are widows 51% of women live without spouses The number of single person households and life alone has been gathering public health attention especially in re...

Recently I developed and facilitated two Writing Groups for Elders in my local community.   I believed it was important for them to  explore topics and emotions that might normally remain hidden, for healing in their 3rd Chapter. To  hear others' stories and realise that they are not alone.   beginnings . . . I set about creating a safe container for these feelings and stories to flow, in a non-judgmental way, where they could feel safe in sharing their life if they chose to.   T hey also had the opportunity to practise writing more creatively. The feedback from participants has been encouraging, and positive. And I am grateful for their trust in me, in each other, and their own process.   One said she "liked the topics and themes that you suggested for us and the quotes and poems were a bonus...I loved the warm feeling that was created in the group and I think one of the reasons for this was the way we were led into some deep little reces...

I shared a memory with a friend recently, on Facebook. It was a photo of us 20 years ago that evoked a feeling of shared joy. But she also commented that she'd like to "turn back the clock". That started me thinking about how life would be, even if we turned the clock back 10 years, to pre FB.  How might we be using these hours in a way that nurtures us more deeply? The time that social media has snatched from us? And who would we be without our technology? Michael Harris, in his book “ The End of Absence ” suggests that soon enough people will struggle to remember life before the Internet.  Would we be more engaged in our local community? Be more able to churn out that book, or paint more pictures? So how do we extract ourselves, even a little, for fear of losing our seemingly community of 'friends'. Many would have withdrawal symptoms. The longest offline time for me was a week.  Michael goes on to say "And today’s rarest...

In these winter months it's an opportune time for reflection.  What makes your life meaningful in your elder years? As our lifespan is greater than any generation before us, we can shape ourselves into the kind of elder we want to be.  It's an extraordinary time to be alive!  We now have a smorgasbord of activities and experiences to delve into. Waking up feeling optimistic about your day is a sure sign that your life has meaning.  For many, this time is for re-defining oneself.  Perhaps  mourning the loss of our younger self, or identity?  Letting go of one's former identity can be difficult for some. In our quest to live meaningfully, I believe it’s to live authentically, in alignment with our values and personal ethos. With renewed confidence and a “so what” attitude, our 3 rd  chapter  can be the most joyful and meaningful time of our lives. Have you ever asked yourself "Who am I ?" During our early years...

I haven’t blogged for nearly 3 weeks partly because of our local bush fire emergency that sapped my energy, partly because I haven’t felt I had anything worth posting, and for the last ten days I've been enjoying a warm break away from the mountains,with lots of belly laughs with my daughters and grandchildren, reminiscing and photographs. Here is an exquisite one that greeted me when I returned home.    I am eager to allow the unfolding of my voice, in a new way-I feel an urgency to do this. In my third chapter, I often ask myself the question “have I reached my potential?”, or “have I used all of my talents?” And by writing here I am in some way having a relationship with this unknown place.If I pay attention in deep silence, I know I will be further awakened into a new chapter of my life within no time. As a result I can then be a facilitator for others in discovering their own voice, their uniqueness. This can be anything from growing a flourishing garden, t...

art by Bouvette To come fully into our wise years we are called to balance our feminine and masculine energies, and become aware of our inherent divinity. Most spiritual traditions believe that the more we are aware of our interconnectedness with all that is, the more we will honour and become stewards of our fragile planet.   So juicy elders, I believe that we have a HUGE role to play in assisting others to NAVIGATE the challenges in the future. Our combined lived experience, our skills, our creativity (yes, did you know that our mature mind is often more creative than a youthful one), our empathy and compassion for others, and hopefully, our commitment to preserving our planet for our grandchildren - what a difference we could make with our accumulated effort and wisdom! As wisdom is not automatic because of our years, so some keys to help grow this wisdom are: *   Surrendering our ego, and confronting any death and loss   consciously. * Having th...