Sunday, August 2, 2015

Acceptance of What is

I don't think I fully embodied ACCEPTANCE until recently. I could have.  Lately it has risen up organically, from a deep place within me. It's not a conscious feeling but one that settles in my being like a knowing. Enveloping me like a favourite, winter coat. I've wondered whether other people recognise acceptance, or do they live it without question? 
I've been subtly drawn to notice this state because it has been a gentle gift. I don't believe I could live my life as it is now, without this feeling of acceptance. Does it unfold as one fully surrenders to life? Or is it a result of growing older? Of mellowing into my bones despite my circumstances. Or perhaps it's because I've travelled this road for so long that it transcends any fear. 
And said Yes to life, whatever it is.
In the past I usually had my eye on the future, even though I did my best to be present to the moment. I still have goals for the future, but know that there is a greater plan and it will all unfold as I go about my day, being of service in a variety of ways, and in reverence for what is.
I discovered Haiku poetry some years ago, and I've written my own in times of doubt, or when inspired. This is one recently that found its way onto the page.
To feel peace
in the winds of chaos
A blessing
When people ask me what brought me here to the Gold Coast, I share that living here was the last place on Earth I wanted to be!  Yes. That's how I felt, but I've had to radically accept what is. 
I don't like tall buildings, too much concrete, busyness, city life. Ha. 
You know the saying, "what you resist, persists" !!  I see it as a teaching lesson - for myself and others. 
We need to find the gems. I have grown to love many things here - like the organic food store in the little plaza beyond my back fence, the Sculptors Society 5 mins away where I've learned to sculpt and which takes me into that flow state . . . of earth moving in my hands into beloved Goddess sculptures, the Botanic Gardens close by to appease my photographic passion, as well as the Arts Centre where I've enjoyed seeing recent movies with my daughter Sharyn, and deep conversations together.
Great Goddess of Willendorf
Even though I'd love a home amidst nature and less noise, I am accepting. The sun continues to shine, whether I drink my morning cuppa in the garden of my imagined bush retreat, or in my present courtyard of plants and Goddess sculptures. I feel a deep peace as I bathe in the morning sun - a daily Vit D boost that oozes into my bones and body. Birds, mainly crows, continue to sing and crow here and the tall eucalyptus trees sway in the breeze like happy dancing ladies. These crows are a constant reminder of my childhood in northern Queensland, as is the reliable blue sky. 

And surburbia feels ok for however long I am here.
There is much to be grateful for. Most of the people I have met and connect with are from interstate, or overseas - their stories intrigue me, and I am discovering a new city and its history that continues to grow rich with this diverse mix of people.  And there are a lot of green parks, beaches to swim in and places to rest, that warm my heart. 
I have learned to appreciate the star studdied night skies here after many, many years of mist and clouds in the Blue Mountains with not a star or moon to be seen. 
And gratefulness is believed to be at the centre of one's joy and beingness. 
It's not about being happy. It's finding meaning wherever you are. 
Joy and meaning are inextricably linked. Only this morning around 5am the Aquarian Blue Moon was still shining brightly into my bedroom. Maybe this powerful moon has prompted me to write this post. 
I then remembered a Haiku poem I wrote many moons ago in 2012.
Winter full moon shines
My face
Glows in the darkness